The Recipient’s Response

27 01 2011

Today I heard from the recipient of the box I “dumped” on Tuesday.

She is over the moon.  I sent her a box filled with recipes I had cut, torn, and collected over the past 30+ years.  Some were on cards, some were loose (I put those in a manila envelope), and some were in a 3 ring binder.  Here are pictures of the stuff I sent taken by The Recipient.

This photo shows most of the contents of the box.

The binder on the top was created by The Recipient. Do you really think this was a coincidence?

I had meant to have a blog entry prepared before the box was received, but didn’t.  So this is most of the email I sent as explanation:

Oh I am so glad you didn’t just throw the whole thing into the dumpster!

I wanted to get the next blog installment done before your mail got there.  But here’s the short version.

At one point in my life I was married to a man who had me convinced I was a shitty wife, mother, was ugly and basically worthless.  For a short while, I responded by bending over backwards to prove what an asshole he was.  I made this friggin’ binder, was Cubmaster, Brownie leader, and worked full time.  I organized a food coop, canned fruits and vegetables, did needlework.  Damn.  What a fool.  Finally I realized that all I really had to do was leave.

There’s more to the story that all seems rather funny now.

But I couldn’t let go of this fucking binder and the stupid cards that I had glued recipes to.  As a result, whenever I wanted to  find a recipe that was important to me, I got trapped by all of this.  The other night I finally had enough.  I had torn everything out of the cabinet and started looking for the 3 x 5 card with my mother’s French onion soup recipe (after reading Clio’s).  In frustration, I went to the garage and just threw this stuff in a box, bit by bit.  I finally found what I was looking for.  Then I got the tape and started taping the box closed.  Joe came in and saw I was in  crazy mode and just helped me close and tape the box without even asking what I was doing.

No, Lisa won’t want this.  She will never be a Girl Scout leader and make cute little fake gingerbread houses with graham crackers or any of the other stuff.

Have fun!

Love you,

J.

So now I should presumably be able to find my mother’s soup recipe or my grandmother’s noodle recipe without having to sift through the detritus of low self esteem.  I feel lighter already.

NOTE:  I’m leaving The Recipient as an anonymous friend for now.  She may reveal her identity in the future.  But it’s totally up to her.





Dumping

25 01 2011

I tried to think of a better title, but the only other one that came to mind was “Purging.” No better.

I just put a box in the mail. I need to let the recipient know it’s on its way. I’ve moved the contents many times, but they have little meaning for me. They got in my way the last time last night.

I had choices. I could have just put them in the recycle bin and they would have been gone Wednesday morning. But instead I put them in a box and taped the box closed before I could change my mind. I’m hoping that the recipient will find something useful or clever to do with the contents.

I’ll write more after I hear from the recipient.